Just for "Today"

I'm home sick today, so I've watched more of "The Today Show" than I normally do. Usually, I like to tune in to get the news on the 8:00 hour, and then I have it on in the background for a mere half-hour or so as I bustle around getting ready. But this morning, I tuned in for the last two hours, and it turns out that the later in the show it gets, the funnier everyone starts acting.

Here are some choice quotes that I particularly enjoyed, in chronological order:

1. During a segment on "inter-facial relationships" (when one person in the couple is a lot better-looking than the other):

“What this is really about is the cruel calculus of romance. The fact is, women are better than men. They’re better dressed, they’re better read, they’re better in bed. And we get to go out with you guys, but if you want to date men, you have to go out with us, so lower your standards.”
—Dennis Kneale, managing editor of Forbes

(Btw, if you want to know more about this segment, you can read a blog post about it on the "Today Show" site: http://allday.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2007/05/02/177586.aspx)

2. Right before a commercial break:

Al Roker: We mentioned these cakes a little bit earlier. Believe it or not, these are actually cakes: this is not sushi, it’s not a box, but fondant and unbelievable cakes. We’re going to meet the artist/baker who put these together and shows us how she makes these designs.

Anne Curry: Actually, these are actually replicas of cakes. [Raps on box “cake” with her knuckles, resulting in hollow knocking sound.] These are actually what the cakes would look like—

Campbell Brown: But I think this is the icing, right?

Al: [Forcefully, perhaps even a bit defensively] This is the fondant, the fondant on the outside. There you go, breaking the illusion. Thanks a lot.

Anne: I’m about the truth, Al. Anyway, so she tells us how she really makes them, coming up.

Al: [Turns directly to Anne.] Why do you wear make-up?

3. (Technically, this wasn't part of "The Today Show," but it aired during the program's allotted time, so I'm still counting it.)
From a local news break:

Rob: Just a few moments now away from Martha Stewart’s show on NBC4, and she joins us now with a preview. Good morning, Martha.

Martha: Hey, Rob. I’m here in our greenhouse with actress Samantha Mathis. And Samantha, I understand that you have a business dealing in succulents.

Samantha: I do, I have a company called, aptly, Succulent.

Martha: Rob, do you know what succulents are?

Rob: I do not. Please tell me. [Cut back to shot of Rob, looking at the camera a bit too avidly for family television.]